Have you tried seeking Therapy, do you have anyone in person who you can talk to about this? I hope that didn't sound rude, but I feel that you need it. Venting to people online can only go so far. No one's gonna be mad if you don't upload in a while, and if someone does get mad, you shouldn't want them as a fan. And about you past, I don't know about it, and all I can say is to let it go, do not let anything you've done before define you, it can ruin your life if you let it.
donglepuss
At least you don’t have aids
Diamondmanpixel76
yeah true