Hey, guys, it's Diamondman.
As I'm sure you all know, recently, I haven't really been in a good mood. It's not just a "normal" bad mood, either. I mean, it's gotten so bad to the point where I started cutting myself and taking cold showers. I've started to realize that maybe I've been oversharing how I've been feeling recently. So, you might be asking, what caused all this depression?
Well, I've been thinking a lot about past arguments and such, for one thing. I've been thinking a lot about the past, mostly the bad things, though, such as negative comments, the stuff I've gotten in trouble for, you name it. Even recent stuff I've started to feel guilty about.
Speaking of which, there's also recent situations that have been making me depressed. With me trying to be a content man and all while also trying to do better in school, I've been under a lot of stress. It's not just this, but I've been blocked twice in one day this month. One person, I don't even talk to anymore, but the other person, I tried to help improve their mood, but I guess I said the wrong thing, and now they've blocked me.
Thinking about that, I've started to realize that maybe I focus too much on others' feelings and I haven't really been focusing on my own. I still want to help anyone who's struggling in any way that I can, but I also need to be able to prioritize my own struggles, if you know what I mean.
I've received a DM on here from a concerned friend recently, and I think it might have awakened something in me, something that inspired me to make this speech. After reading through it, I started to realize that I've been hurting the people I care about: you guys. For that, I want to apologize. It wasn't right what I've done, and I hope I haven't scared anyone too much. I'm trying to do better.
Speaking of which, I've been trying to find methods of restoring that feeling I've once had, that feeling from when I just started out on here, when I was but a 13-year-old Sonic fan. I've been reading some of the recent comments a little more carefully, and I've been thinking about doing some of those things, as well as listening to advice from my friends and my family. As well as those, I've also been looking up some ways to improve my mood, and I've taken meditation into consideration. Heh, little rhyme there.
I personally wish the best for you guys, and I hope you're all doing well, and better than I've been doing. I'll try to take better care of myself, and I hope you all will do the same.
Anyway, with all that being said, I'm glad you took the time to read through all of this, if you did, obviously. Sorry if it's longer than what I normally post, but I just wanted to get this all off of my chest, and I feel a little better now that I did.
